Landmarks of Childhood

My childhood was defined by landmarks that started as boundary's of safety.  There was the end of your block when you were 5.  There was Diversey Ave, Fullerton Ave, Kilbourn and the railroad tracks when I was 10.  When I a young teen, it was defined my the neighborhood that all the kids from Barry School, their homes,  Marshall Fields, and where we played at Kelvyn Park and ice skated at Kilbourn Park.
As an older teen it became more about where you were not allowed, for example, Old Town where all the "hippies" hung out, downtown Chicago without a group.  We were allowed to go to Logan Square and 4 Corners for shopping, and Harlem Ave for roller skating and more shopping like Rolling Stones Records.  I have wondered what my son thinks of as the landmarks of his childhood growing up at Hard Rock Acres, on the Kishwaukee River, down the road from McQueen Forest Preserve, and west of Kirkland, Illinois

Courage and Grace

Unexpected things are going to happen in life.  The only control you will have is how you chose to handle them.  So, with humor, courage and grace you become your best self.  People will not walk a mile in your shoes,  they will not know your journey.  Even those that were there in your life, will not know about the path you had to walk alone.

Answer Is Blowin' In The Wind

We are settling in to Texas life, although the other day when I hit the home button on my GPS and it came up Loveland, Colorado I felt at that moment I was a thousand miles from home.  Well, if this is a life lesson, I am taking the test. There is a rhythm to retirement, much like the changing of the seasons, and it is easy to fall into no specific schedule, no hurry to be somewhere, throw the paper away without reading it and next thing you know, the day is over!

Skip is busy driving his school bus route, Mr. Skip as he is known on the playground at Jake’s Place here in Oak Point.  He is just as easily recognized locally, by his association with our dog Bodie, as the entire neighborhood seems to know the dog! People roll their windows down as they drive by and call Bodie by name! Skip is working on a train club for our middle school in cooperation with the STEM teachers.

This summer I earned the name as Chicken Lady to my neighbors.  The girls, Lily, Helen, Myrtle, Carolyn and Dottie, follow me around like little ducklings follow their mom.  They dig in the same patch of dirt I am working, and they are often rewarded with beetle larvae.  I am still learning what grows in this harsh environment and all of the microclimates on our place.  You certainly don’t stick a plant in the ground and it grows in Texas.

This fall I was voted in as a member of the Ariel Art Club, a charter of the Texas Federation of Women’s Clubs.  I actually have time to go to luncheons in the middle of the day!   Then, there is the continuing work as a  “Ladies of Oak Point” and our mission is to bring a little cheer to the local Fire and Police Department, and local charities.   But I think High Tea is really the looming excuse for all clubs in Texas! In closing I am combining three of my favorite things, The Beatles, gardening and tea time…

“And although its been said many times, in many ways, Merry Christmas to you!”

Default Effect

Going with the flow seems to be the best advice to live by when new chapters open in your life. A chapter that opened in 1982 with the birth of my only child is now and will always  be my default setting. Motherhood becomes your predesigned setting, your value system. You can reminisce with your friends about life before motherhood, but you all know you are forever changed. Once a mom, your factory preset will remain through our life, and although your children spread their wings, leave home and have been independent for many years.  

My generation now discusses what is universal for us in our mom models, our empty nests and our new roles as in-laws.  In a blink of an eye, life is not negotiating with your child about doing their chores, curfew, and day-to-day situations, but a new kind of negotiation. When your child gets married the program receives a request from an interactive user to look at the new information that has been passed to it.   You discover a new mode of communication surrounding their marriage, new ideas and how to be accessible for your son and daughter-in-law. You are hyper aware that his choice of spouse is crucial to his well being, and how do you blend into your new role. It is important to remember in the added programming that your married child and their spouse enrich your family.

Your default setting is putting your child first and you have to try not to worry about whether your daughter-in-law puts your son first, and he her.  You hope that your children try to walk a mile in your shoes, learn each other’s boundaries, that you are all an importance part of each other’s family and require inclusion of life moments.  Hopefully your children learn the program uses, the mother default value that was defined for that item when the program was written.

Year later a ping arriving on the scene is a problem.  In programming there is a set of rules.  A mother-in-law now has for example the sharing of holiday rules.  So that becomes a timestamp and you respond appropriately.  But getting a ping that the rules have changed makes it hard to gauge a reply when something seems not to be working normally.  Now there is a needed response time, taking a deep breath and not getting your feelings hurt. You want to send an error message for a strange pattern, but hold on – the daughter-in-law gets to change the rules.  She is now the more important female in your sons life. The relationship with my son the forever-preexisting value, his happiness, his wife's happiness...and the error message returns to you – go with the flow, your new constant default setting.

Ryan, Teddie Sue 

posted 4 weeks ago August 29, 2017

Ryan.

It pains me to admit it, but apparently, I have passed away. Everyone told me it would happen one day but that's simply not something I wanted to hear, much less experience. Once again I didn't get things my way! That's been the story of my life all my life, although Skip would probably disagree.

     And while on that subject (the story of my life)… On the subject of my life, my mother, Helen Harrelson was years ahead of her time by negotiating for a new home in Chicago in exchange for having a child, Teddie Sue, me. I can't believe that happened in the middle half of the last century but there are records on file which can corroborate this claim. I was born on March 16, 1956 and Helen Bernice got her new life away from Arkansas farming, no more picking and chopping cotton. Memories…where do I begin?

      I was the oldest and consequently, my younger sister Rebekah Kay very much enjoyed her childhood, as she never had chores, all left to me to be responsible.  Oh and I was, but not enough time to talk about all that! As a child of the 60’s, I walked to school, Barry Elementary and yes, it was a mile to school and back through the inclimate weather! Some how while at Commodore John Barry Elem, I decided I would be a teacher some day.  It is written in our 8^th grade paper, heck if I really planned on that, but it is what I did for 32 years and loved so much of being around young people.

      At home is where I learned the lessons from my mother and father that gave me the path in life I followed. Dad was a big-hearted soul who gave to others freely. He carted us kids everywhere, caught us doing whatever it was we shouldn’t be doing and thus became affectionately known as Hawkeye. My mother was strong and present.  Both of them allowed me to be myself, oh I was disciplined, but I was loved.

      So many things in my life seemed of little significance at the time; they happened, but they added up greater importance as a coat of many colors and a tapestry rich and golden. The memories I have are so precious, and it was a good life.  Memories where do I begin?

      Well, I remember attending church; Mom and Dad sitting together; Leonard leading singing. I remember loving dancing, singing to 45’s, 33’s, The Beatles; I remember Dad driving Old Bessie, raising a garden every summer; and off to Arkansas, at the drop of dad words, “Let’s go home babe.”  There were my wonderful Grandparents, Uncle Eugene and Aunt Sissie to add spice to my being.  My grandparent’s unconditional love and pioneer spirit, Uncle Eugene’s love of music and Aunt Sissie’s love of road.

      I was blessed with seeing the world as very few did with my time in Montana. There I was blessed with my only child, Dane Lucas.  Life became about being the best mother I could be, and eventually the best teacher for the children that passed through my classroom. Seeing my son grow into who he was supposed to be brought a wonderful sense of meaning to my life as a mom.  His love and care for others, his perseverance and hard work ethics, his joy of laughing and making sure others had a great time. Having students graduate with a sense of purpose gave that extra meaning to being here.

      In my life I became the Grand Diva of All Things Domestic and Then Some. Sewing Halloween costumes, counted cross-stitch needlework, weaving baskets, making potpourri, painting with oil on canvas, Colorado Master Gardener, driving a tractor and learning to repair it. Carrying a chainsaw, peeling logs, planting a large garden and orchard, canning jellies, jam,  drying fruit and tomatoes, raising pets, litters of puppies, and farm animals, these were some of the outlets for my creativity that let my spirit sing.

    I loved growing up in Chicago; I loved the mountains of Montana and Colorado, our home at Hard Rock Acres. The road running just out front was a dirt road that ran down to McQueen forest Preserve Road where Dane learned to drive, another significant dirt road to Polebridge was 60 miles long into another world, time and place. I never grew tired of the ever changing clouds over the Great Divide, the changing of the seasons and beginning of new life.  Speaking of that, before I grow too old, I still hope to become a grandmother.

      I've been a devoted daughter that still misses her parents, an energetic teenager called Gypsy, a person ready for adventure, heck I hitch hiked across Alaska.  I was a comforting mother, a true and loyal friend to those that opened their hearts. And if you don't believe it, just ask me. Oh wait, I'm afraid it's too late for questions. Sorry, I was born; I blinked; and it was over. No buildings named after me; no monuments erected in my honor.  I left behind gardens wherever I was and I did have the chance to know and love each and every friend as well as all my family members. How much more blessed can a person be?

     So in the end, remember, do your best, follow your road less traveled, and make something amazing out of your life, and for those around you. If you want to, you can look for me in the evening sunset or with the earliest spring wildflowers, or amongst the flitting and fluttering birds and butterflies. You know I'll be there in one form or another. Of course that will probably comfort some while antagonizing others, but you know me...it's what I do.

    This might be a place and time to mend fences. I apologize for making Dane take music lessons in 5^th grade, as he really didn’t want to.  I apologize to Skip for asking him to leave God’s country to follow my need to be a mom and grandmother.  I apologize to Ashley for being a mom that needed more, it was never enough time with my family.

     Remember, most lives are not distinguished by great achievements that get written up in the history books.  Most are measured by an infinite number of small ones.  Each time you do a kindness for someone or bring a smile to their face, it give you life meaning.  Never doubt your value.

     I'll leave you with this, please don't cry because I'm gone; instead be happy that I was here, or maybe you can cry a little bit in case God let’s us have a view of things left behind. After all, I have passed away, and I love you.  If not today, soon I will be dancing and playing keyboard with the angels in God’s band.   I hope it is “Take Me Out To the Ballgame” and having the best seat behind home plate to watch the Angels play. I leave behind my cherished family, and look forward to seeing you all again.

Love You Forever, Teddie Sue